118: what an utter waste of money
Echoing the glitzy words of Gladiator's Emperor Commodus: I am vexed. More to the point, I'm not just vexed, I'm very vexed by the wholly incredulous ineptitude of the buffoons that work at the telephone-directory service 118 118.My acerbic fulmination against this 'helpful' service centres around its abject inability to provide me with accurate timetables for my train journey home from London Marylebone to Leamington Spa.
Just last night I phoned this so-called helpline, requesting information in regards to the last train from Marylebone to Leamington. I was told, in quite uncertain terms, that the latest train would leave the station at 23:54 and a change would be necessary at Banbury. Fair enough, I said, and thanked the voice on the other end of the line.
Hot-footing it to the station from a late-night meeting in Covent Garden and making the last train was something of a relief, as you can imagine. Now imagine my utter annoyance at realising that I'd been lied to, duped, by some buffoon who had obviously been unable to read a very basic timetable and had given me clearly erroneous information. The train terminated at Banbury, it transpired, some 25 miles south of Leamington, and I had to grab a cab to my home, costing Ā£35! (of HEXUS money that could be better spent enriching your reader experience.)
I accept the fact that we're all human and anyone can make a mistake. What really, really narks me off is the fact that a similar travesty of illiteracy on 118 118's behalf occurred just three short weeks ago when a good friend and I were travelling back on a Saturday night. Another 118 118 representative spectacularly failed to read a timetable and advised us that a later train was available, and we ended up paying an extortionate taxi fare back home.
I don't absolve myself of blame in this matter, folks, as I should travel with an up-to-date timetable, but - for the love of Ganesh and a pantheon of gods from differing religions - surely I should be able to rely on a service that's quite happy to pillage my phone bill? Do I ask for too much?
In our present-day culture that sues for the most minor of grievances, why cannot 118 118 be held accountable for the extra expense I've incurred due to its inability to provide me with correct travel guidance? I feel like putting my fist through one of those skinny, overly energetic characters on the adverts. Yes, we're really vexed