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Germany brings in TV license fees for the internet

by Nick Haywood on 25 October 2006, 11:32

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License nonsense

The Inquirer, (or should that be Das Inquirer?), has reported on the frankly daft idea dreamt up by the oberfuhrers in Germany to levy a license fee on every Internet capable device.

Now you’re probably like me, wondering just what the hell this is all about, so have a read of the Das Inq for the full gen, and then nip back here to read on.

Back? Ok. So, what’s happening over in Germany is that the head sausage munchers have put down their pots of mild mustard and overly large tankards of beer for a minute and come it with a wonderful money making ruse.

With all this TV being delivered over the net, why not charge a license fee for it? Das is gut, ja? Nein, Fritz, das is bad…

You see, whilst you could argue that it’s only fair to charge people for watching TV over the net, what the hell are pay-per-view sites all about if it’s not about charging you for watching telly?

In a Blitzkrieg double blow, you get charged by your ISP for your connection, then in swoops the Government with a Stuka style raid of €5.52 a month as well.

And, just to really rub salt into the wound, the follow up of shock troops comes with the realisation that you’ll be charged this license fee no matter what you use your internet device for!

Yep, that means you business users, who never surf the net, have net access for information and email only, you get charged. Likewise, home users in the ex-Eastern Germany, who are just unwrapping the latest 486DX2, are going to be hit with the charge too.

Now, seeing a license fees are tricky to collect and you could spend as much money chasing users for the fees, the leather short wearing bods have come up with a solution. They’ll more than likely not bother charging individual users but just slap whopping great bombs, sorry, BILLS, on the ISPs, leaving them to pass the increased cost onto their users.

Now, why am I having a rant about this? Well, seeing as all sixteen states in Germany have voted this in you can see a certain Mr Brown, at No 11 Downing Street, rubbing his hands and wondering whether he could get away with that here too.

After all, why not? The last time Germany stiffed the people it took 6 years to sort them out again… but with money in the mix, you can bet Gordon will be up there on the podium, humming Deutschland über alles as he rubber stamps this one through….

HEXUS Forums :: 25 Comments

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They have got to pay for the Autobahns in some way I suppose :(
shocking glad we dont get stung by things like that. il just stick to parking tickets and speeding fines for my contribution to the uk
shocking glad we dont get stung by things like that. il just stick to parking tickets and speeding fines for my contribution to the uk

Yeah it'd be terrible if you had to pay a license fee for anything capable of receiving TV :P
reminds me i should sort my tv license out, bloody leeches
I've had a few complaints about my mocking of the Germans which, I have been informed, was in poor taste and could possibly cause offence.

I'd just like to go on record to say that there's an awful lot I like about Germany: their cars, their lack of speed limits on the autobahns, their penchant for annexing Austria at every opportunity and that fact that, unlike the Americans, they were bang on time for two wars.

I hope this clears everything up.