Introduction
I pondered this intro for two days, reader, wondering whether to scrap it and author something a bit more staid. A bit less silly. A bit more boring. My inner geek got the better of me though, so here's hoping it doesn't get me fired and it makes you titter.
Dear abit,
I'm writing to you today to hopefully rekindle a love of your mainboard products. You see, sweet, lovely abit, I've missed you terribly. Thousands of my fellow geeks and I had torrid foursomes with your offspring and a pair of processors. I remember meeting BP6 round the back of the bike sheds for some four-way love with the Celeron twins. I have fond memories of naughtiness with VP6 and Pentium IIIs, riding her hard and getting those 1000MHz clocks out of unvalidated SL45Ys on air with FOP-38s! Ah, those were the days.
But then it stopped, barren years where you didn't return my letters or my calls. Where were the dirty products for me to get hot and geeky with? YOU LIED TO ME, YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP SUPPLYING HOTTIES. The AA8 DuraMAX left me cold, her DDR2 pillow talk didn't come fast enough. The NF8 had an STD called nForce3 and I was too scared to do anything with her, lest I catch something.
Then you had those money worries and I wondered if you'd ever be back in the same way again. Geeks cried. But you came back with a new look and lowercase company name! I'd love to write asus, but the mardy cow gets the hump on if I do. You give me those shift-free goods! And so, with Intel putting two of its silicon lovelies in the same pin-free package, I'm wondering if you've got anything accommodating for me, Conroe and DDR2 to have a good go on and relive those good times.
Yours, hoping you do,
Rys xxx
But then it stopped, barren years where you didn't return my letters or my calls. Where were the dirty products for me to get hot and geeky with? YOU LIED TO ME, YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP SUPPLYING HOTTIES. The AA8 DuraMAX left me cold, her DDR2 pillow talk didn't come fast enough. The NF8 had an STD called nForce3 and I was too scared to do anything with her, lest I catch something.
Then you had those money worries and I wondered if you'd ever be back in the same way again. Geeks cried. But you came back with a new look and lowercase company name! I'd love to write asus, but the mardy cow gets the hump on if I do. You give me those shift-free goods! And so, with Intel putting two of its silicon lovelies in the same pin-free package, I'm wondering if you've got anything accommodating for me, Conroe and DDR2 to have a good go on and relive those good times.
Yours, hoping you do,
Rys xxx
Dear Rys,
Shut up, it's not my fault that every decent abit product to hit HEXUS in recent years got reviewed by Tarinder. I've been rocking for ages, you just haven't been paying any attention, flirting with those sorry ASUS and DFI girls. It's a wonder you've still got any balls. But since you loved me so back in the day, I have a present for you. She's called AW9D Max and she's smokin'. You'll love her like you loved BP6 and VP6, I promise. <3
abit
P.S. Sorry about NF8, she couldn't help it, caught it from NVIDIA!
P.P.S. This introduction is so going to get you fired!
abit
P.S. Sorry about NF8, she couldn't help it, caught it from NVIDIA!
P.P.S. This introduction is so going to get you fired!
Still with me, reader? I swear that happened.
So, AW9D Max it is then, packing i975X, ICH7R and abit special sauce. Best get on with finding out if it really is smokin' before someone notices the horror of what just went on in a supposedly professional hardware review intro.
