Mmm, mortars…. I like mortars!!

Evolution)Back to offline))

Ttaskmaster
Mmm, mortars…. I like mortars!!

At least these stores should open with a bang. A regular explosion of consumer choice. I'm shocked. Shell-shocked, that is. It's just a shame in the “round',
that the name ”Range" is already been taken. ;)

I'm expecting a ballistic incease in sales.

Sowwy. :D


More seriously, it's an interesting experiment, especially given the aspect of hosting a vatiety of small-scale businesses.


Will I use them? Highly doubtful, mainly because if there's 10, they'll presumably be in 10 large cities, which I loathe going into unless absolutely necessary. If they open one in any of several local towns, I'd pop in for a look-see and a rummage …. but I'm not holding my breath for that.

Moving from indirectly competing with what remains of the highstreet to directly.

Gone very light on the Amazon branding.

time to kill the competition .. last nail in the coffin

And we can't even get the online version of Amazon to Scandinavia… :(

Saracen999
At least these stores should open with a bang. A regular explosion of consumer choice. I'm shocked. Shell-shocked, that is. It's just a shame in the “round', that the name ”Range" is already been taken. ;)
I'm expecting a ballistic incease in sales.

I'm guessing you were being funny, but it all just went right over my head….

On a lighter note - They'll be opening in large cities, which is great news as Reading isn't and never will be one. Besides, they only employ poor people at Amazon and would lap up slave labour if it were even vaguely legal, whereas Reading is a lovely commuter town designed to attract lots of lovely Middle Class money and force the peasants to move out even further.
This basically means we're definitely not getting an Amazon… well, not unless they buy the property developers, which could still happen!

Ttaskmaster
I'm guessing you were being funny, but it all just went right over my head….

On a lighter note - They'll be opening in large cities, which is great news as Reading isn't and never will be one. Besides, they only employ poor people at Amazon and would lap up slave labour if it were even vaguely legal, whereas Reading is a lovely commuter town designed to attract lots of lovely Middle Class money and force the peasants to move out even further.
This basically means we're definitely not getting an Amazon… well, not unless they buy the property developers, which could still happen!

Well, you just can't get good mortar crews these days.

Still, I suppose with mortars, it going over your head is a good thing, no? Better than dropping on it, anyway.


And …. not an Amazon fan then?

Nor me, particularly.

Mind you, they do tickle my humour gland in the “what goes around, comes around” category.

Supermarkets having effectively killed off so, SO many small businesses, it's refreshing to see karma at work. Life's a b …. erm, fenale dog, sometimes.

All those people that used to run small businesses as grocers, bakers, butchers, fish-mongers, even corner shops, etc, must be loving watching supermarkets facing a real existential threat. It is kinda funny, after all.

Saracen999
Well, you just can't get good mortar crews these days.

'Course you can. I'm standing right here!

Saracen999
Still, I suppose with mortars, it going over your head is a good thing, no? Better than dropping on it, anyway.

Depends if I'm between you and your target, or behind you…

Saracen999
And …. not an Amazon fan then?

You may recall the various threads, likely peppered with logical argument fallacies…

Saracen999
All those people that used to run small businesses as grocers, bakers, butchers, fish-mongers, even corner shops, etc, must be loving watching supermarkets facing a real existential threat. It is kinda funny, after all.

Are you joking? Amazon are investing in food shops.
They'll be looking to take over supermarkets, not threaten their business!
Between Facebook, Microsoft, Apple, Google and Amazon, most of the world will very soon be owned and run by mega-giant corporations… hopefully this means we'll be living in a dystopian cyber-punk sort of tale, and one of us will have to go assassinate the heads of these ‘Five Families’…!

Ttaskmaster
'Course you can. I'm standing right here!

…

That's precisely my point - can't get 'em now …. that you're retired.

Ttaskmaster
….

Depends if I'm between you and your target, or behind you…

Having never fired a mortar (though I'm up for it if you can sort an ‘experience’ day) the safest place to be standing is likely to be smack-dab on the X marking the spot I'm aiming at. Anywhere else? Kinda like Russian roulette with a mortar.

Is it possible to fire a mortar and drop it right back on your own head? In fact, knowing the extent of my mortar skills (none, or less) I might just manage an exceptiom to “what goes up, must come down”.

Beware low flying aircraft. And watch for nervous pidgeons. :D

Saracen999
That's precisely my point - can't get 'em now …. that you're retired.

I can still hit the broad side of a barn at 2000 yards. My abilities as a gunner didn't depart once I left…
However, the salary I can command may have increased! ;)

Saracen999
Having never fired a mortar (though I'm up for it if you can sort an ‘experience’ day) the safest place to be standing is likely to be smack-dab on the X marking the spot I'm aiming at.

Nah, is easy - Observer gives you your settings to dial in, then your a-gunner drops the rounds. If needs be, you can take bearings, sight those in on the mortar and get the aim correct off your reference markers easy enough. We also work in mils rather than degrees, which makes it even easier.
The hardest part is using the compass, as it's only accurate to 5 mills, and then only because the hairline of the sight is too thick for a more precise reading at distance!
However, you've got a 21 yard blast radius, so +/- 5mils is relatively easy to overlap.

Saracen999
Is it possible to fire a mortar and drop it right back on your own head?

Surprisingly… no. Not unless you're using one without a bipod. They kinda built these things with a limit to the elevation and you'd have to really put the effort in just to drop it closer than about 200yds.

Oh, and yes, there is something akin to an experience day - WW2 Living History (or re-enactment, if you prefer). Basically everything except live rounds, although they can still fire blanks.

How about me bouncing a round of that broad side of a barn and it then landing at my feet? It'd suit the kinda day I'm having. And yeah, I know that's not possible …. unless I'm pretty much leaning on the barn when I fired.

I might manage to drop the round into the tube the wrong way up, though.

Saracen999
And yeah, I know that's not possible …. unless I'm pretty much leaning on the barn when I fired.

The angle at which you'd have to careen it off the barn is so tight, I'd think it virtually impossible for a human. A good bit of trial and error might eventually see you land one close enough to do some damage, but you're far more likely to cop it through random stray shrapnel from an unintended hit.

Saracen999
I might manage to drop the round into the tube the wrong way up, though.

Is fine. These things are so lethal, that they made them quite numpty-safe!

The round has a point-detonating fuse, but that doesn't even arm until the force of the round being fired frees the setback pin. There's a series of safety releases inside that must all disengage before the round can go boom. You see them doing it at the end of Saving Private Ryan, when they're banging rounds on a baseplate before chucking them like grenades - Theoretically possible, but you'd have to smack them stonkingly hard, and then still throw them so they land point first…..

If you're having a bad day, take a turn as an ammo bearer instead. All you do is move some boxes off the Land Rover, and hang around watching our flanks/rear while we shoot stuff. Usually no-one bad even knows we're there anyway, so you can mostly just make the tea. Mine's white with 2.

According to an old Uni buddy of mine (an infantry lieutenant, or leftenant, I can never get that straight) everything has to be numpty-proof … though at the risk of dropping myself in your bad books, he said “squaddie-proof”.

He was also part of an evaluation team team whem some MoD boffin asked how the troops wouod get on witn a laser sight (yes, it was years ago). Would it withstand 'in the field“ handling?, he was asked.

He assured them it would …. provided you could jack up a landrover with it, to change a wheel, then use it to open a can of beans. Otherwise, better not. ;)

What can I say? Officers, eh?



PS. The ”lieu" one is US, yeah?

Saracen999
an infantry lieutenant, or leftenant, I can never get that straight

Spelt as the former, spoken as the latter. ;)
Blame the French…

Saracen999
everything has to be numpty-proof … though at the risk of dropping myself in your bad books, he said “squaddie-proof”.

Saracen999
Numpty-proof, yes. There is no such thing as ‘Squaddie-Proof’.

There are only two things that have ever come close to reaching the Seventh State of Squaddie Survivability. The L1A1 SLR and the Enfield .303 Rifle in its various incarnations. However, whilst both may have survived their various trials, neither actually worked thereafter. Besides, even if something ever did manage to reach the Seventh State, it would still end up being lost!

Saracen999
He assured them it would …. provided you could jack up a landrover with it, to change a wheel, then use it to open a can of beans. Otherwise, better not. ;)
What can I say? Officers, eh?

He's not wrong…. Rumour has it that the Russians came up with some kit that they reckoned was utterly indestructable. Some of their lower ranks managed to get samples sent to British squaddies for testing… they were sent back in pieces!

Saracen999
PS. The “lieu” one is US, yeah?

Yup.